Things Our Moms Used to Say

Our mothers tell us so much stuff throughout our lives. At least, mine did and I'm sure yours did, too. Up to a certain age, we fall for everything they say, hook, line and sinker. Until that one day, when Mom says something so outrageously improbable, that we begin to question her veracity. A pall of disbelief descends over us and from that point on we question, either vocally or silently (which is safer), everything that comes out of her mouth. This usually happens in your early teens. And is accompanied by much eye-rolling...

A lot of what my mother taught me is quite full of merit. But an equal amount of what she told me was...shall we say...completely bizarre or even useless. 

I'm aware that my mother grew up in a time and place where superstition was rife and to err was tantamount to a catastrophe. Her beliefs were carefully nurtured by her rigid upbringing. Her family was quite poor, as she often drummed into my head, and mistakes or bad judgement could bring about a costly crisis, so being careful was critical. She was born in 1924, a child of the Great Depression and the descendant of English immigrants on a quest for a better life. Everything was scarce; money, food, clothes, jobs...everything. Poverty had an enormous, indelible and unforgettable impact on her.

It's interesting to listen to these echoes of our mothers' voices and try to analyze what made them say such things. At least it's that way for me.

Here are some things I remember hearing from my Mom. I'll bet you heard quite a few of these, too!

Superstitions:

• Always put your right shoe on first. (My theory is this was to teach me to be methodical.)
• It's bad luck to put your shoes on the bed. (Pretty sure this had to do with keeping the bedspread clean.)
• On New Year's Day, boil a cabbage and put a dime in it. Whoever gets the serving with the dime will have a profitable year. (Old semi-Southern custom)
• The first man through the door after midnight January 1, should be a dark-haired man--preferably bearing a gift! (Common)
• Death comes in threes. (Common)
• Opals are bad luck if it's not your birthstone. (Old folklore)
• If you have a lot of heartburn while pregnant, your baby will have a thick head of hair. (Old wives' tale)
• If you spill salt, throw a pinch over your left shoulder to cancel out the bad luck. (Common)
• Tape a silver dollar to the baby's umbilical cord to prevent an 'outie' belly button. (Old wives' tale)

Actually, my mom believed a lot of the common superstitions and old wives' tales, including the ones about black cats, ladders, broken mirrors, etc.

Discipline:

• Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!
• Stop eating so much sugar; you'll give yourself diabetes.
• Bored!? I'll give you something to do!
• Don't make me get up and come after you!
• You keep making those faces and it'll freeze like that.
• Are you listening to me?
• Children should be seen and not heard.
• Stop acting like you were born in a barn! 
• I hope you have a dozen kids just like you.
• You are just like your Dad.
• Your sister never acts like that.
• Don't touch that; you'll get warts.
• Stay away from those kids; they're up to no good!

Life Lessons:

• Never buy cheap shoes. (This is related to the next one...)
• Always take good care of your feet, they are the only pair you'll ever have.
• Waste not, want not.
• Always wear clean underwear in case you have to go to the hospital.
• Don't read without a light or you'll go blind.
• Only use 4 squares of toilet paper. (Pretty sure this goes along with 'waste not, want not'.)
• Don't ever have kids; they're such a burden.(!!!) 
• If someone is talking to you about someone behind their back, it's a sure bet they'll talk about you behind your back. (Ain't that the truth?)

As I go about life in my golden years, I often hear Mom's voice faintly coming to me over the distance of time and space, quoting some homily or other. 

Yes, Mom, I was listening!

Till next time,

"Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws." ~ Barbara Kingsolver