The Most Embarrassing Thing...

This post is a bit of a departure for me but hopefully you'll find it entertaining nevertheless. MaryEllen of MaryEllen After 60, one of my favorite YouTubers, did a tag video not long ago about some of her most embarrassing moments. Click this link to see her video--it's so cute and funny!
Of course, it made me think of a few embarrassing moments of my own, and since I don't do videos, why not blog it? So here we go--this one's for you, MaryEllen:

When I was seventeen and a senior in high school, I belonged to Chorus. Most schools call it Choir now, but back then, back there, we called it Chorus. I not only took Chorus, but also belonged to Madrigals, Glee Club and some other musical girl group that I can't even remember anymore. We often had to hold practice after school and it was held in the band room.  One night, Mr. Ritchie was late to practice and in the crazy, giddy way of most teenagers, I got the bright idea to hide in an empty tuba case that just happened to be lying behind Mr. Ritchie's podium. The plan was that I'd hide in there while he was calling roll and jump out and scare the bejeezus out of him when he got to my name. Brilliant? Not so much. For starters, I don't even know how I fit in that doggone tuba case. I was not only five foot seven, but 'husky' as well. It was a tight fit and mightily uncomfortable. I lay in there in a tight fetal position with my knees under my chin, thinking, 'Thank goodness my last name starts with D and not W; I don't think I can stand it much longer!" as my breathing grew labored. I heard Mr. Ritchie call out my name, with a responding smattering of giggles from the group. I took a deep breath and pushed on the lid, intending to leap out calling,"HERE!" But the lid was stuck. I pushed and pushed. "I can't get the darn lid open!" I yelled. I heard shrieks of laughter and Mr. Ritchie ran over and I heard him flip the latches on the case to lock it, and then he told the entire class, "Run! Run!" Whaaat?! Everyone ran out into the hall, where I heard them snorting with uncontrolled laughter, but he soon herded everyone back in and came over and let me out. I must have been the color of a grilled tomato by then. Even after my blood pressure and circulation returned to normal, I still felt hot in the face, from a blush that would not disappear. Teenagers!

In my mid-thirties, I worked in customer service at a bottled water company in Texas. Our phone room was in the back of the main office area. To get to the rest rooms, one had to walk all the way through the office area out into and down a long hall, making a giant U. One day, I'd gone to the rest room and was sashaying my way back to the phone room. (I was in a 'skinny' phase at the time and just loved clothes so naturally sometimes you just have to sashay, right?) Just as I reached my door, one of the girls in Route Accounting screamed my name. I turned and she was pointing at the back end of me. Despite my daily determination to always conduct myself with dignity, I'd accidentally caught the tail of my skirt into the back of my pantyhose. Which left my entire rear end in full view as I nonchalantly sauntered through the entire office. Yeah, I was so cool and sophisticated. At least I wasn't also trailing toilet paper!

I've always had a great fear of public speaking and studiously avoided being in situations where that was required. Until my last job, that is. During my time there, I repeatedly found myself required to give small presentations. It wasn't any different than when I was 14 and had to give my first oral book report. Every time, I'd find myself standing in front of groups, my upper lip would twitch like a wiggle worm from sheer nerves. It did get better; I was never a great speaker, but the nervousness dissipated over the years and at least I could get up and speak without my upper lip jerking all over the place like a landed fish. At some point, our company began hosting supplier conferences that got bigger each time we held one. One year, we held it at the Soaring Eagle Casino and Hotel in Mt. Pleasant, MI. It was our largest conference to date at that time. Attendees came from all over the country. And of course, I had to speak. But that year, I felt unusually confident and wasn't very worried or nervous at all. Besides, my husband attended with me; that helped my confidence. At last it was my turn and I mounted the steps to the stage. There must have been 200 people in that audience! Holy cow! By the time I got to the podium, my knees started literally shaking and I gripped the stand with white-knuckled hands to keep myself upright. Simultaneously, ever single molecule of saliva in my mouth dried up. My mouth could not have been more dry than if I'd lain on my back snoring all night long! I started my presentation, but my cheeks and lips kept sticking to my teeth. Like glue! I was forced to keep running my tongue over my teeth to loosen everything up so I could keep talking without biting myself. I finally finished my piece and sat down. I whispered to my husband, "How'd I do? Could you tell I was nervous?" "No, not at all. You did great." he said. "But what was that weird thing you kept doing with your mouth?" Oh. My. Gosh...

I have a dozen more I could tell you, but like MaryEllen, I'm only sharing a few 'G' rated ones today! Hope you got a chuckle!

Till next time,

"But I learned that there's a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, there's not much else that can really get to ya." ~ Christian Bale