Hold On...To The Right Things

Around ten years ago, my husband and I were sitting in a little cafe' in Shipshewana, Indiana having some lunch and just people-watching. Through the window, I saw a big old shiny black Lincoln pull into the parking lot. An elderly man got out; he looked like he was at least 90. He slowly shuffled around to the passenger side, opened the door and helped a lady out. She was fairly tall and very slender; a platinum blonde with big, bouffant hair and a skin-tight neon green spandex jumpsuit. It was cut down to there and she wore plenty of jewelry and bangles, a white patent leather belt cinched around her tiny waist and matching boots.  At first I thought, 'Dirty old man, what the heck is he doing with her?' Then I thought, 'Gosh! Maybe she's a prostitute! That's just disgusting!'

He offered her his arm and slowly escorted her to the door. As they grew closer, my eyes got wider in disbelief till I nudged my husband with my elbow and said "Uh, there's a couple coming in that you just gotta see." As they went past our table, we could see that Madame was every day of 90 herself, a bit stooped over and leaning on her attentive husband on one side and a cane on the other. Her aged but smiling visage was caked with a thick layer of foundation that accumulated into her deep wrinkles, topped off with feverishly vivid blush and melting mascara.  I realized her undoubtedly poor vision had a lot to do with this jaw-dropping look, and my heart totally broke for her.

That was back when I wasn't nearly as enlightened, tolerant or open-minded as I am now...(!!)  In a sense, now I rather admire women like that. I admire their absolute guts for putting themselves out there in a way that apparently makes them feel good about themselves.

As well, a LOT of women don't like to fuss with themselves and I get that, too. If you'd rather hear nails on a blackboard than mess with your 'hairdid' (BTW I hate messing with my own hair), slap makeup on or deck yourself out in snazzy clothes, who is anyone to judge? If that's what makes you feel good and/or happy, do it.

My point to all this is if you do want to look great for your age, we should periodically stand back and look at ourselves objectively. I know that's difficult without doing a lot of rationalization, but...we should try. Most of us can probably skate along as is, till we hit 40.  At 40, we're no longer kids, so it's time to check to see if we are dressing age-appropriately.  It's not time to start dressing like Grandma yet! Just avoid whatever the teen scene is wearing these days. I'd say Daisy Dukes, second-skin lycra or anything that exposes too much should be a thing of the past at this point.  ...Except maybe on date night in the privacy of your own home. That's entirely up to you and your spouse/significant other! (Tiny wicked grin...)

Re-assess again at 50 and at 60: take a step back and make sure nothing is off-kilter in the wardrobe department and that your hair and makeup look good. There are tons of books, websites, videos, and articles devoted to the subject of aging with grace. We just don't want to look like we're clinging desperately to youth or trying way too hard. Otherwise we end up being rather pitiable, like that poor lady in the neon jumpsuit.

You don't have to spend a fortune to look good either. Be current but not overly trendy. Don't wear the same makeup, clothing and hair you wore when you were 18. It may have looked great back then but being stuck in the past isn't a good look for anyone. There are plenty of things we can do to look more youthful, like getting our hair done in fashionable but not crazy-nouveau styles, taking good care of our skin (Excuse me while I harp for a second:  STAY OUT OF THE SUN AND TANNING BEDS!--start avoiding in your late teens; by 25 it's too late!), wearing age-appropriate makeup if you like it and attractive clothing that doesn't scream 'I'M YOUNG! I'M YOUNG! AND STILL SEXY, DAMMIT! '

There are the 'Beauty Tubers' I told you about in an earlier post who have a firm handle on how to age gracefully. (See 'My Favorite Beauty Tubers' below or the link list to the right, which also includes some very young but entertaining women.) And there are many, many more like them. They're great role models and I highly recommend them. Just go to YouTube and search 'mature beauty gurus' or 'mature beauty channels' or 'makeup or fashion for mature women'. So many channels will come up, you'll have a hard time deciding who to watch!

Anyway, we really don't need to try so hard to look young. Just look your best at the age you are. Let the glow of maturity shine from your eyes. Have a youthful mindset. Let your humor show. Laugh a lot. Be forgiving. Be loving. Smile. Smile often! Give your worries and cares to whatever higher power you believe in. And don't be self-conscious of your age. Because if you have a beautiful soul, you are beautiful.


 Till next time,

“Youth. I don't seek it through another because I have it within; it's a state of mind, a spirit that is free, and a mind that is playful." ~Donna Lynn Hope